Only With Distance

只有距离

Modern Love

2022-06-23

18 分钟
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Nora Johnson had been making weekly visits to older man after he suffered a mild stroke. But he wasn’t just any older man. “We had the worst marriage in the history of human relations," Nora wrote in her 2014 Modern Love essay. “Dysfunctional doesn’t even begin to describe it.” During her visits, the memories would coming pouring back: the fights, the vacations, the plunging bank account. But Nora’s ex-husband had forgotten all that. He’d even forgotten her. And this blank slate had presented an opportunity. Today, we listen to Nora’s story about reconnecting with her ex in spite of their painful past. Then, we meet another couple, Margaret Eginton Carmichael and Greg Carmichael, who learned to date again in their sixties.
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  • [theme music]

  • Anna Martin: From The New York Times,

  • I'm Anna Martin.

  • This is Modern Love.

  • When my grandfather was near the end of his life,

  • there were days I'd come home

  • and we'd just sit on the couch together.

  • Occasionally, he'd eat Cheetos.

  • He loved them, and he called them 'shrimps'

  • because that's what he thought they looked like.

  • Often, he would fall asleep.

  • It's important to just sit next to someone you love,

  • to refill their bowl with shrimps —

  • to be there because soon the other person might not be.

  • This week's essay is about that type of care —

  • showing up, being present,

  • in this case, after a very painful history together.

  • It's written by Nora Johnson and read by Suzanne Toren.

  • Suzanne Toren: One of the things old people do

  • is visit other old people in hospitals.