My name's Joe Wilkinson and I've managed to force Patrick Bamford to come on a podcast with me and he's gonna slowly fall in love with me.
Do you go to the tip?
Believe it or not, yeah, I do.
Do you go to the supermarket?
No.
You know when all the shirts started getting tight on the players and they started selling them like that to the general public?
Yeah, yeah.
And everyone looked like sausages.
My mate's a footballer with me, Patrick Bamford and Joe Wilkinson.
Listen on BBC Sounds, BBC sounds music radio podcasts.
Hello and welcome to you're dead to me, a history podcast for people who don't like history, or at least people who forgot to learn any at school.
My name is Greg Jenner.
I'm a public historian author, and I'm the chief nerd on the BBC comedy show Horrible Histories.
I love me some medieval poetry, but it's better if it's got gratuitous fart gags in it.
In every episode, I am joined by an expert historian with a head full of fascinating facts and an a grade comedian with a smart mouth and nice hair.
And today we're jumping back 500 years, sharpening our sacrificial knife and preparing to eat roasted guana as we get to grips with the Aztec.
Joining me to fill in the blanks in your memory banks are two lovely guests in history corner.
Her Twitter account describes her as a historian and human sacrifice enthusiast.
Worrying.
Hopefully, that's only a professional interest.